It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
