Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Randomize
