She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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