Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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