I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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