Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
