you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
