I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
