I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
