this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
