i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
