Ambien. No doubt about it.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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