So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
