i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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