I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
