6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
