nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
