North Korea, Best Korea!
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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