dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
