WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
