these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
