u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
