i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
