Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
