I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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