so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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