im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
