It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
