My room smells like vodka and shame
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
