I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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