so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Randomize
