he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
