At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
