He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
