haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
