That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
