I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
