thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
