Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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