fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
