i think my mom watched the whole time
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
