So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
