gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
