i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
