Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Don't make out with my wife yet
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
