WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
