The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
