she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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