Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
