im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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